Christmas the Finale: Traditions

As I've become an adult (and I say that tongue in cheek) and raised my own brood I've had occasion over the years to ruminate on the rituals and traditions that have seen me through, across time and continent. In the immortal words of Tevye, tradition helps us maintain balance. Balance of what

"Tradition"

though?

I like to think of the traditions I've carried from childhood and the new ones I've added for my own childrens' benefit as a balance between personal progress and antiquity. Me striking out on my own, but with a respectful shout out to where I come from.
 Thanksgiving through New Year is a time rife with tradition for most people; some funny, some poignant and some reverent. But that's not for everyone. My father, not one for tradition, inadvertently began a sort of anti-tradition (in the way of an anti-hero) by serving tri-tip year round for every occasion. "Come for the Fourth- we're having tri-tip." "I've got a really nice tri-tip for when you come up for Thanksgiving." "For Christmas, I thought we'd try something different. How does steak sound?" And his refusal to do anything festive has become the running joke of my family and thus a new tradition was born.

 

Everyone got fancy new skates this year!

 Red meat, however, is not the tradition I've carried over into my household. What I remember from Christmases past is the fantastically personalized décor (as mentioned in prior post), the songs of Nat King Cole and Manheim Steamroller, the exquisite meals my mom created for the extended family visits and the interesting "family gift"- my dad, like me, gets super jazzed when he makes a new discovery of something he likes. He gets Oprah fever- "One for you, one for you, one for you...." you get the idea. Turns out the apple shops the same way as the tree. It's well meaning- clearly if I enjoy it, so should you.



My son obviously loves the skates as much as I do.

Aside from that, my kids both have their own nutcracker and personalized stocking and Christmas ornaments. And the Christmas breakfast, of course. But I am not trying to mold them into me- even if these things I've shared are the best parts of my own memories. We've found ways to make each celebration our own; unique to our tribe and life and friends.

Tradition for tradition's sake is akin to progress for the sake of progress in emptiness.  In order for a tradition to continue being relevant it is important to understand its purpose. It's easy to get caught in the tide of maintaining the status quo, but think about why you are doing it and if there isn't a solid reason other than it's simply tradition, it may be time to move on.

 

Christmas aside, what makes a good tradition?

Special rituals: Rituals are fantastic so long as you know what they mean and why you value them. For the last four years, we have packed a bag full of bagels and sled and driven to the top of a local mountain to greet the new year. This is absolutely one of my favorite things of the year to do with my kids and something I hope they do with theirs. But snow and snacks aside there is something so spiritual, cleansing and reaffirming about being out in nature, breaking a new year from the top of the world- even if it is only a small mountain. And that's why I continue.

Special places: . In our area there is a quaint mountain town (not to be confused with our New Year's mountain- our holiday it the Tale of Two Mountains)  circa cowboys and miners. The town is now famous for pies (we all hate pie), but it still has the old West country town feel and we love the cider mill and root beer floats. We go in the afternoon, with our friends but everything closes at 5:30. The modestly applied Christmas lights seem more idyllic there when the town quiets. And sometimes, if we're lucky, there is a dusting of snow. I know I said Christmas aside, but it's not Christmas without a visit and a bag of gummies from the country store. The town holds comfort and charm that means something different to each of us, but the community is the same.

If your bagel doesn't shine, it's an imposter.

Special food: When I was a kid, my dad would make me get up at the crack of dawn- and sometimes before that- to walk the dogs with him. We'd put on our matching Land's End coats and yellow work boots (family gifts- not always as great as skates) and trudge through the snowy hills of Connecticut. But at the end of the walk on Sundays, we'd drive into the next town for real bagels- the kind that are boiled, then baked, and Clearly Canadian (if you don't know what that is, you have sadly missed out). He'd read the newspaper and I read the colored comics and we didn't talk... and it was great. However, if you ask my dad, he thinks it was my younger brother on those freezing mornings, but I distinctly remember the phrase "your dog, your responsibility" and now refuse to live in an area where snow visits my house. Anywho, living in southern California now, there aren't many real bagel places to be found, but I am lucky enough to have one such establishment in the town next to mine and so have shared with my kids the joy of boiled bagels, bagel dogs and bialys.

 

Why is tradition so important?

Whether your family is more Normal Rockwell or Norman Bates, tradition is a defining factor of both family and personal identity. When appreciated properly they enhance not only special occasions, but imbue daily life with flavor and magic. They give us comfort and something to look forward to. Tradition is a bond the ties us to each other and our roots- both familial and historical.